RJ has been in a super rad mood the last week or two and has been fighting sleep. Most of you know this because I posted it on FB and insta the other day when I lost my $h!t. Anyways, RJ cried all the way from Provo (thanks for the leggings Britta) to the Spanish Fork Good Earth and just before I pulled in he fell asleep. Of course!!! And there's no way in hell I'm moving his car seat and risking him waking up, he NEEDS sleep. So, I'm sitting here in my car in the parking lot, looking like a creeper to others, I'm sure.
At this point I'll sit here as long as I need to. The other day I sat in my driveway for an hour for this same thing. I don't want this to become a habit for him to fall asleep in his car seat. But, sometimes as a parent you just have to survive a time or two.
In mid October we decided it was time to train him to fall asleep on his own, without being held or rocked. It took several different methods for us. I read multiple books, blogs and sought advice from several friends. Finally, it boiled down to laying him on our ottoman swaddled up and he eventually put himself to sleep while we just went along with our day. It was bizzare. The cry it out method just wasn't what we ended up needing to do at that point. He trained himself like a champ without us even knowing that was all we needed to do was walk away and let him lie.
I feel like every mom that I've talked to just says be consistent with whatever you do and he'll figure it out. We have honestly done that. Up until this past week he has taken naps super consistently and been on a time schedule like a champ. But, somehow things have changed for him. And I just need to be OK with that. If I'm a mental case it won't get us anywhere.
I feel like so many people say "you will look back on this and miss it." I'm sorry but seriously? That's just ridiculous. Tell me this, have any of you moms with older kids actually missed the CRAPPY times? No. No one misses the crap. Of COURSE I will miss the tiny cuddles and smiles and him learning and discovering so much. But, anyone who misses the crappy days is a lunatic. Even if you have a sassy teenager who talks back, that may make you miss when they couldn't talk. But, you still probably don't miss this part. Am I right? Maybe not.
I honestly love RJ so much, I have loved watching him grow. He's been a delight aside from some minor sleeping issues right now and his constant puke. I think I'm just intolerant of EVERYTHING because I am sooooooo tired of always catching his puke, and doing a full load of laundry everyday. Between cleaning his three to four outfits, my two or three outfits, burp rags, washcloths, blankets, rugs, bibs and cleaning the car seat - oh, and his bottles... I sort of just want to lay down and have someone rub my feet and give me a high five for making it through one more day.
Now, I know most of you have more than one baby... So you probably laugh at my issues and say "just wait until you have more than one" etc... But, this is my struggle and trial. It's hard for me. May not be for you. But for me this is my breaking point sometimes. So maybe I'm weak to you. But, I know I am strong and an awesome mom. And I really am doing my best. I just feel like some days this will never end.
Thank heavens it will. I'm glad parenting comes in phases. Even the hardest of times will never last forever. And I'm grateful for this blog so I can just word vomit all of this and maybe help another mom feel like she's doing the right thing, too.
I'm grateful the Lord sent RJ to us. At the end of each day I feel good knowing I've given RJ my best. That's all I can do. Oh, and pray A LOT. Seriously. All day.
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