Winning at life today

So, I realize this is me doing two posts in one day. BUT - I am on one today.

I remember being pregnant and telling people how bad my "pregnancy brain" was.

HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA

And then there came MOM BRAIN.

Mom brain is real my friends. And OH so much worse than pregnancy brain. I sort of feel like this...

If you haven't seen this movie - google the scene. You won't regret it. Or click here...

I feel like a LUNATIC. I'm preaching to the choir here. Most of you either feel this way, feel worse that this or know what it's like. I'm amazed I remembered to put deodorant on BOTH pits today.

I had an OB appointment today to get an IUD and of course - didn't take the time to shave my legs because well, it's winter. And what happens? The hot medical student doctor gets to come to my appointment. WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY? Good thing I'm married, but don't act like you wouldn't be freakin' about that, too.

THEN, last night as I was driving home I caught myself falling asleep two times. I still managed to end up at my relief society activity (high five) and partially fell asleep during the prayer. I'm sort of a zombie. There have been days I don't even remember what I did.

I sometimes get out of the shower and realize I still have conditioner in my hair.
I sometimes get out of the shower and realize I only shaved one arm pit.
I sometimes lotion one leg and walk away.
I sometimes/ALWAYS make plans and forget about them an hour later. (sorry everyone)
I sometimes realize the other moms who post about how productive they are sometimes need to GET REAL
I sometimes feel like high five-ing myself for NEVER staying in my pajamas all day. I make sure I get dressed no matter what.
I sometimes text Jessica Tuttle and tell her happy Tuesday on a Wednesday. (oops)
I sometimes have days where I feel like I am winning at life, and today wasn't one of them.

I used to have my $h!t together. Then I had a baby. Now my brain is fried, and who knows where. I'm all over the place, and sleep deprived. And I have a GOOD sleeper. I just sleep like crap and waking up at 5:30 every day - even with a nap - is NOT something I was born to do.

Then this happened.....

YUP - that is pee all over the blanket and ottoman. Oh, and it got all over me too. I thought we were past this stage. He hasn't done that since he was a newborn. PS - how about Tucker watching the pee come out? BWAH. 

I guess I just feel extra RAD today. We all have those mom-brain moments, if you're a mama. I'm glad my fellow mom friends don't judge me when I have these days. 

High fives to us all. Moms or not, as a lady we have LOTS going through our minds. So, I appreciate every little thing that gets accomplished each day because of how rad my brain is. 

DIY Baby Food Tips

So, I made a MESS of my kitchen last week trying to make baby food for the first time. I did a ton of research on Pinterest for recipes, tips and more. But, NONE of them really told you the stuff I learned that day. So, hopefully this one will even it all out.

There's plenty of ways to do this, so I'm sure as I keep making food for RJ I will have more tips. Such is life. But, here is the few things I learned and what I did.

First, I bought organic veggies from the store. I buy organic because I have a puker who tends to have food issues. And because I love Good Earth! But, even Wal Mart/Maceys (Target?) has an organic section if you don't want to have to shop at two different stores. RJ loves sweet potatoes, avocado and carrots. I would say this method didn't really break down his food to the 4 month old mush type food. So, I would say this is probably safer for 6 month olds, since it ends up a little thicker.

I bought the following items from Wal-Mart and Amazon.com to get started:

*Infantino Fresh Squeeze Pouches (these are AMAZING) -Wal Mart & Amazon have them at the same price. I love the quality of them, and the one I bought at Wal Mart came with the pump to add the food to the pouches. And on Amazon you can buy just the pouches (50 for $12.99). So, you HAVE to buy the pump/syringe thing to go with these, or you'll hate your life. My first kit I got came with like 25 pouches and the pump for $10. Buy the cute little spoon attachments too!

*Cube Freezer Trays obviously it doesn't need to be fancy like this - but they're cheap so why not? I did find that it is a ROYAL pain to get the food out of these after they're frozen. Kind of a pain, so I would go with pouches instead of these. Seriously. I swear the Pinterest articles LIE, this is not an easy method for my type. Ha. I froze them, then broke them out (swore a lot in the process) and then put them back in a tupperware and in the freezer. Then I just grab a cube when I'm ready to feed him and let it thaw. Kind of annoying. The pouches you can just throw in a cup of hot water to thaw. So, I'm not a HUGE fan of this method.

*A super awesome food processor  I won't link this one because I am sure there's better processors than what I have. I have the Ninja food processor and blender mix and it worked just fine!

So, that is all I purchased to get things started. Then I did this...

Avocados

I just mashed up the avocados and put about 1/2 cup water in the bowl and then stuck it in the freezer cubes and BAM, you're done. I'm sure there's other fancy ways of doing this.

Sweet Potatoes & Carrots 

I started off by peeling them, and throwing them in a pot of water to boil for a bit. I did the avocados while these boiled. Then I put them in the food processor with about 1 cup of water - ish. Then, I put them in the syringe/pump and BAM right into the pouches.

I found one bag of carrots filled about 10-12 of the pouches and 4 sweet potatoes filled like 15 pouches. RJ eats 1 pouch a day so really, it is a great deal!

I'm not a pro at ANYTHING. So, these are all rookie tips from ONE time of making food. So, take it for what it's worth. I went through tons of dishes, and found that my blender SUCKS for making baby food and to stick to my food processor. Ha. Maybe that is common knowledge, but I'm awesome like that.

I would LOVE to hear your tips if you've done this before. I also realized afterwards that it might taste yummy to add coconut oil to some of these? Who knows. Tell me what you do!

Ready, go!

I can't live without...

So, I usually post from my phone so I don't really take the time to link to sites or whatever. I've wanted to write a post about some items I can't live without. Before I do, let me preface with the fact that EVERY baby is different. And what may work for one, totally sucks for another.

RJ had had MAJOR feeding issues since he was born so we've been able to play guinea pig for so many random things and just make our own schedules with stuff. I found that when I was looking for answers with him, we never really found them. We just sort of flew by the seats of our pants and survived. But, a few of our awesome friends have suggested some SWEET products that have been game changers for us. So, maybe me posting a list of things we love will help other moms out there find solutions. Or at least find another thing that doesn't work. It's important to check things off that list, too.

Here are my top 10 MUST HAVES at our house and the reasons why (not in order of faves):

1) Podee Hands Free Bottle System - I'm telling you right now, if you don't have at least ONE of these bottles, you are missing out. We initially bought this hoping it would help with RJ's constant PUKE FEST. But, it didn't. It is supposed to help with gas, and it seems to! But, he's never been a super gassy baby. Anyways, you should see the LOOKS I get from everyone in public when we are feeding him from these bottles. It's classic. However, this bottle has made my life so much easier. We can feed him in the carseat, while I'm in the shower... or doing my hair straight. It is amazing. And for those "special" moms who want to hold their baby EVERY time they feed them, you can still do that, too. Don't worry... I'm not a neglectful mom just because I LOVE me a hands free bottle. Who doesn't want a few feedings a day where you can get stuff done at the same time. I sure a crap do!

*Tip for this product* Cleaning this bottle system sucks and makes for lots of sterilizing and dishes. Also, if you already have 8 oz bottles, just buy their "Convert a bottle kit". Saves you a few bucks!

2) Merlins Magic SleepSuit - This has been a lifesaver for us. RJ initially hated being swaddled. Then at about 1-2 months old he was swaddled with the Aden and Anais muslin blankets (which RULE). Well, that didn't last long because he was apparently THOR in another life. He busted out of them like a bandit. So, we gave the velcro ones by Summer Infant SwaddleMe a try. Man, those SAVED our life for several months. Then, he started escaping those. He's Houdini. I swear. Anyways, our awesome friend suggested the Merlin's Magic SleepSuit and after a few nights (and LOTS of laughing) he did awesome with it. It took a few naps to adjust and he can still move his arms a bit, but overall he has figured it out! We're SO grateful the swaddle transition was not as bad as it started out, thanks to this!

3) Nosefrida -  This sucker (pun intended) is sort of how you initiate yourself into the "Mom Club". I mean, who doesn't want to use their mouth to suck the boogers out of their kids nose? It freaks my husband out, he won't do it. Anyways, this thing is MAGIC. I promise you won't get even a taste of a boog. Trust me. It's amazeballs.

4) Chatbooks - OK if you don't know about Chatbooks you are missing out. This handy dandy app you download on your phone synchs to your Instagram. And for $6 it automatically mails you these cute little books of 60 pages of your insta. Or you can go in and create your own outside of that. I love this because it scrapbooks RJ's life for me since that is 90% of what I post on there anyways. You can edit your captions from the app and it will even print the date you posted them. Or you don't even have to print the date and caption. We love these books! We printed additional copies for grandparents for Christmas and they were a HIT. You can't go wrong! They do all the work for me. High five Chatbooks.

5) Hands-Free Pumping Bra - Now, I only breastfed for about a month but, while I did - and was a pumping machine.... this bra was HEAVENLY. However, don't go spending $60. My husband is so thrifty that he took an old sports bra from wal-mart and cut two small holes in the nips. WALAH. Either way, having one of these bad boys was awesome.

6) Dr. Brown's Forumla Mixing Pitcher - All of you formula feeding mama's out there now what a pain it is to shake the bottles and mix stubborn formula. So, I have quite the RAD system down for my daily bottles. I sanitize the bottle nipples and the Podee cords while I'm mixing the formula and cleaning the kitchen. The formula we use gets super bubbly when we mix it so I usually let it sit for a couple of minutes before I pour it anyways. But, this pitcher has made bottle making SUPER easy. I make 6 bottles a day for RJ in the morning and this helps me so much. I love it! I wish they made them a little bit bigger. This one holds 32 oz of liquid and spills over if you get too crazy with the blending. So, it would be nice to see a bigger version. But, overall I love this! I was using my blender and it made SUPER bubbles of our formula and still left a few clumps of powder. And this mixes it just right and doesn't get super bubbly.

7) Breatheable Mesh Crib Liner - As a first time mom I was worried about all of the things you hear about how "crib bedding can suffocate your child". So, we bought this and it it awesome! I thought it would look WT but it doesn't! It took a few choice swear words to put on the crib but, it's done.

8) Amazon Prime -  SO worth the money. You can buy pretty much any of your mom needs (or use amazon mom) without leaving the house. Amazon prime gets you free 2 day shipping, which almost everyone knows unless you've been living under a rock. Pretty much everything on this list is an item I've purchased off of there. Mostly because you can read reviews from other parents. And again, so I don't have to leave my house.

9) Costco Diapers & Wipes -  When RJ was a newborn the ONLY diapers that we used were the Pampers Swaddlers. LOVED them. But, once he hit size 1 we went to Kirkland. I have done my shopping and this is the best quality for the best price. OF course, it is Costco. And the wipes are great! Every kid is different so these may not work for yours.. but we are  super happy they do for RJ. His formula is so expensive we're happy to save a dollar anywhere we can.

10) The Mormon Channel App - Since I used to work for Mormon.org, I've pretty much seen all of those video 100 times. So, if you aren't me - then you can download that one too! But, when I'm having a mommy breakdown I try to watch videos on there. I love Mormon Messages. I always seem to find one that speaks to me that day. Even if it's one I've seen ten times, I hear a different message. I can't do this mommy stuff alone and I need the spirit to give me patience and perspective. Religious or not, this is an awesome app for anyone! There's tons of GOOD content. I am terrible at reading my scriptures, so this is sort of my spiritual food most days.

I'm sure I've left out things that I like even more than some of these. BUT, it's what came to my mind. I'm sure as RJ gets older the list will go on!

What are some things you can't live without and why?

Robert Jeffrey - the J.

I wanted to talk about where RJ's name comes from. His two Grandpas. Chances dad, Robert and my dad Jeffrey. 

Here's a bit about my dad.

I'm watching one of my favorite movies called Dragonfly, with Kevin Costner. It's a movie about how a mans wife tries to send a message to him after she passes away, using dragonflies. 

Anyways, most people who know me get that dragonflies have always been my thing. Mostly because it reminds me of my sweet friend Megann who passed away when I was 18. And also my dad who died when I was six months old. 

When I am having bad days, or seeking answers it seems like I always see a dragonfly, whether it be in real life or a decoration. It's been a little sign for me! I would like to believe it's either my friend of my dad. Who knows. 

Anyways, I'm holding RJ in my arms right now as he sleeps and I watch this movie. He is sick and fussy. And so sweet when he sleeps. I can't help but think about the fact that I was exactly this age when my dad died. Just a teeny tiny six month old baby. It's not been easy but when I look at him, I feel this urge that he gives me new meaning in life. 

It makes me less angry with my dad. Strangely it helps me understand his frame of mind a little bit more. He was not even 30 years old and he took his own life. For most of my life I've wondered HOW you could go home to a brand new baby, let alone three other beautiful young kids, and then take your own life? I never understood it. I was angry. And confused! I felt unimportant and resentful. Not to mention how bad I felt for my poor 26 year old mom who was left with four kids under the age of five. 

But, I get it now. (Not because I'm suicidal, or angry.) I now understand that he was so sad, and lost and in a state of mind that ONLY the Lord can fully understand, that even the love for a newborn baby could not remove that dark cloud from him. He must have been in such a dark place to have thought we were better off. Mental illness is real, and should never be ignored or joked around with. Don't fake or threaten suicide for attention my friends. It's rude and selfish. And unless you've had someone close to you actually do it, you will only get defensive of that. Sorry. 

I never really talk about this. Most of my friends don't even know how my dad died or that he even did at all. Anyways, I guess having a son that is named after my dad (J for Jeffrey) was my way of telling him I am sorry and forgive him.  And that I want to give his name a new life, a new opportunity to start over and be better. 

Most people would think its a jinx or bad omen. But, when Chance suggested we name him Robert Jeffrey after our dads, I felt a chill come over me. Almost like my dad hugging me and saying he loved me. 

Anyways, I've always wanted to understand what happened that day when he passed away. I know I won't in this lifetime, but I do forgive him. And I love him, and I'm grateful to be a mom to RJ. Even on my worst days, I know the Lord has a bigger, better plan for us all. I can't wait to see him again.