Confessions

So I thought I would list some things I've done as a result of being a mom... 

I don't know about you but...

I've held RJ while I take care of business on the toilet JUST so he doesn't wake up. And let me tell you, pulling up my pants and tucking in my G's is a TASK with that little luggar in my arms.

I forgot to color my hair before family pictures, I know you noticed in the pictures that got posted. Don't lie. Being a mom has literally taken over my brain. I forget stuff that I REALLY should know better. Pre-baby, that would have been NUMERO UNO on the priority list.  #photoshoppleasesaveme

Sometimes when I swaddle RJ in his little velcro straight jacket I have a psycho-claustrophobic moment. I.can't.handle.it.

I want to go in his room and wake him up right now and cuddle him, hard. But, then I'll be in psycho sleep-deprived mom mode. Ain't nobody got time fo-dat.

I have become the master of multi-tasking and doing everything with one hand. Sometimes with my foot or knee! I feel like superwoman sometimes. 

Pinterest makes me feel like I'm on vacation. So, there. If I want to stay up until 2 a.m. pretending I will actually do one or two of the hundred things I pin, so be it!

It took me a few weeks to figure out the tuck the wee wee down concept... I've been peed on more times than I ever should admit. And I got crapped all over last week thanks to prune juice. 

RJ and I both smell like curdled goats milk puke all day, every day. No matter how many outfit changes, baths, wipey rub downs we do... It's like marinated into our skin. 

When RJ wakes up at 4 am with a wet diaper, having MIRACULOUSLY escaped his velcro OOBER swaddle swaddler - I want to be single and 23 again. It feels like it will be impossible to get him back to sleep again. But, EVERY time he falls right back asleep. You would think I would trust that he has yet to fail me on that. But, I'm irrational when I'm tired. So, there.

Tucker, our hyper dog... May end up "missing" one day. I always swore we would never be the dog people who have a baby and get rid of their dog. But, holy crap. He's a handful and so is the baby. No Bueno. If I can hang tight for a few months longer I will stop hoping he disappears. Hang tight Leslee... Haaaaaang tight. 

Writing this blog makes me feel like I am helping other moms, somehow. And that makes me feel like Leslee again. I need that. I enjoy that.

Peace.

Well, hello.

Today as I sit on my couch and think about how I probably shouldn't have just driven my car to Springville... I don't really remember the last few miles I drove... I'm so sleep deprived today... I am reminded that being a mom is FREAKING HARD. If anyone would have given me the slightest clue that it would be this hard, I sure as hell would not have done this. Well, maybe I would have. Either way, it's not for sissies.

Let me tell you a little about my life first, my husband and I have been married for 7 years this December.

PS: prepare for several typos and incorrect punctuation, forever and on every post.

Over the course of the years we've been married we never really felt the desire to have a baby until we were told it may not happen for us. This was when we had been married for 5 years. We then decided to stop birth control and "if it happens, then it happens". And off to Canada we went. Through that process we met some incredible people and BAM, here he is. He's a miracle, and we love him.

80% of the time, I am SO glad we had him. 20% of the time, I want to be drunk on a beach in Mexico with nothing to take care of or have responsibility of.

First off, let me tell you a few things I DO know:

1. I don't know MUCH about being a mom, and I'm not writing this blog thinking that I do
2. I've only been a mom for 4 months (enough to gain some sarcasm and appreciation)
3. I am not seeking advice, so unless I ask for it... PAHLEEZE don't even go there (yes I just said that.)
4. EVERYONE has an opinion about HOW to parent your child
5. Breastfeeding can kiss my @ss
6. I will NEVER judge any mother on how she decides to raise, feed, treat her child
7. Post-Partum depression is REAL and why is everyone afraid to talk about it?
8. I believe in God, I need him to survive every single day
9. We all need each other as moms, why are we so rude to each other?
10. I understand SEVERAL of my friends have either had infertility struggles, miscarriages, stillborns or lost a young child - please know that I am sensitive to that. I am SO grateful to even have had this child, I love him. I do not take for granted every.single.moment I have with him.

Like everything in life, we should see the positive, and if I want to make light/laughter of things that make me want to punch the wall - SO BE IT.

So, here goes!